Chapter 2: Letting Go, the art of accepting what is.

We all find it hard to let go, especially when we care about something or someone deeply. We miss what was, and wish to find a way to hold it tightly once more, in hopes we don't have to grieve and face distressing emotions, we deny reality and believe we can repair it back to its past glory.

However, it weighs us down from what we could achieve. It robs us of growth and new beginnings. I can speak to this as I tend to ruminate. I am a pro at the art of overthinking or obsessing, to the point of oblivion. Trust me when it says it only makes things worse. By not letting go, you focus on what went wrong and what is currently going wrong. You do not focus on building the next steps away from the fire that once was the past. So how do we learn to let go, so something new can start?

While I do not have a concrete answer. I will say it takes time, a lot of effort and a conscious choice. In my training from my previous church, there is something called an inner vow, it is something we decide in a situation, and becomes something that defines us. Something as simple as saying I will accept this, or I will do this can be just as powerful as repeatedly trying. It is a choice made then and there that determines our new fate. While I was taught that these are negative to have since they can modify or create a core belief. If used wisely these things can help us grow into who we are to be.

Another thing is, to take the time you need and ask for it if the situation involves another person. Sometimes, we want something to be good so badly that we tend to jump into the water before we are ready. For me with people, after I have been wounded, I forget to take care of myself, and I place the perceived needs of the other person before my own, while simultaneously blaming myself for the issue. . Realizing that I need to take care of who I am , with acceptance to be a support to others, I have reflected seriously, on how I spend my free time and take care of my body, heart, and mind.

Now we come to the hard part. The big scary disclaimer!! From my personal experience not letting go and doing what YOU or the OTHER Person must to let go and move on can be disastrous. You end up in a constant struggle of push and pull with another person. It becomes a continuous "Fix it" situation, and you even forget what you were initially fighting about. This gets you nowhere. Leading to further frustration, and chaos. Instead, gently let go, give your self the time, fully process what just happened to you, the other person, and come forward with a clean head, fresh eyes, and a content nature.

Acceptance is not to feel sorry or wrong about something. It should feel like slowly shedding a weighted jacket. It should be freedom, not something to fear. Embrace it and move on from the past.