Chapter 10: New Beginnings in communication

Greetings, due to the recent Mercury retrograde, I have been noticing a trend among people trying to develop social skills. One of these things is how we interact with one another from a subconscious level. I am guilty of this from time to time, as well.

Recently, I have found a different way of ending relationships besides my usual INFJ door slam. I have been learning to remove someone from my life, but leave the door open for rekindling in the future. I used to shut people out, after giving them a reason to the ending of the friendship.

I am a man of giving people more chances then I should. I have had a rough time finding my way of navigating such tricky and melancholy situations. I do not want to give up on people if I can help them. I am a sucker for wanting to see people grow, and often will stay in situations where I should be walking the other direction. After I was in an abusive situation, I had become stern in how I set my boundaries.

I would not allow many people in and I would run at the first sign of danger. This would seem odd to many people and would cause issues After reading an article on setting boundaries vrs shutting people out, I realized, that most people I had modeled this behavior from, where in fact shutting people out, and being passive-aggressive or worse, overreacting. I realized since I am a benevolent human being, charged with providing love and comfort into this world. I must leave relationships in a similar manner, and allow the possibility for others to grow back into my life.

I changed the way I approached conflict. I stopped shutting people out and began to show them, what the problem was and how to solve it. If they didn't want to, I offered them a choice to come back when they have grown or changed their behavior. I believe this form of setting a boundary encourages growth and positivity between individuals. This leaves me with less guilt and allows less negative feelings to be had between myself and the other party involved.

Among many other things this recent retrograde season has shown me. I want to say ensuring we have postive connections even when someone is toxic to us can bring forth a better world. I am not saying they should remain in your life or you have to endure the abuse. I have noticed we tend to shut people out on the slightest inconvenience or toxic trait. We should be infact helping one another grow and setting boundaries to develop twords a healthier relationship rather than an in or out situation everytime. The other party may not understand what they are doing is toxic or even have ment to in the first place. It is more postive to provide empathy and understanding so everyone around us can grow and evolve. Even ourselves.

Now, before I end this chapter, I would like to say. while this solution may work for me, I do want to point out that this may not work for everyone, depending on you;r tolerance threshold and the interactions between everyone. As usual, I hope this memoir has offered you all a new perspective and a way to maintain relationships, especially during this retrograde season.